Father’s Day Funny Quotes

Jun 13, 2019 | Parenting Advice

Whether you’re a father or you’re celebrating with your own father, grandfather, or other father figure in your life, Father’s Day always seems to be a little less sentimental and a little more goofy than Mother’s Day. But maybe that’s because dads are, in general, less sentimental and more goofy than moms.

The term “dad jokes” arose for a reason: dads (again, in general) love corny puns and silly stories that usually end with someone groaning over the punchline. According to the AV Club, dad jokes became a “thing” more recently due to the shifting role of fathers. Traditionally, dads were the sole breadwinners and were only minimally involved in the daily lives of their children, save for a few hours after work. But as dads became more active and engaged at home, the jokes started as “a combination of exhaustion and your kids laughing at anything when they’re very young, which creates a perverse incentive system and endows you with false confidence.”

So as you celebrate Father’s Day, here are some funny quotes compiled by gatheredagain.com. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

Father’s Day Funny Quotes

  1. “Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano
  2. “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth
  3. “There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’” – Jim Gaffigan
  4. “I was cesarean born. You can’t really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.” – Steven Wright
  5. “I’m so ugly, my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  6. “I don’t have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.” – Eugene Mirman
  7. “Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.” – Chris Martin
  8. “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart
  9. “Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Button
  10. “As each day passes, you grow older, weaker. I’ve been working out. Revenge is near. Happy Father’s Day.” – Dan Cummins
  11. “Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you reach it faster too.” – Lionel Kauffman
  12. “People ask what it’s like to have four kids, and I just tell them ‘picture that you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.’” – Jim Gaffigan
  13. “A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” – Author Unknown

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